Thursday, July 17, 2008

Ok, I totally lied last week about being a better blogger. Unfortunately and somewhat unexpectedly I was notified of the passing of two people. My great-aunt lived a long and full life, as is evident by her four children, her six grandchildren, and her nine great-grandchildren (I think I got that all right). My little grandfather and his two remaining sisters were very sad, yet the time we spent together as a fmily over the course of four days was very special for everyone. It’s fun to introduce yourself to a cousin twenty years younger than yourself—who looks completely different than you—and inform them that you are indeed their cousin. One of my littlest cousins absolutely loved finding this out and introduced me to everyone as “her” cousin. Too many fun stories to tell, thankfully tons of family pictures taken (yep, we bring the cameras to the funerals), and a wonderful time of celebration & comfort.

I had no words to comfort my friend though. I wanted to end our phone conversation with—I didn’t even know what. What do you say? All I could say thru my tears was “I’m just so sad.” She sighed and calmly said, “I’m sad too,” and I loved her more than ever at that moment.

As of today, the past week as been long, draining, full of questions, and much broken-heartedness. Yet there have been wonderful moments of storytelling, introductions, reunions, hugs that sometimes hurt, hugs that last longer than normal, and tears that begin as grief and quickly become tears accompanying laughter. Love has been manifested in tangible ways. I have been consumed more by God’s mercy and grace than by feelings of anger or grief.

Tomorrow I will attend the wedding of two wonderful friends. I will be part of another reunion of people who will cry tears of happiness & laugh & dance.

This is life. There are moments of deep sadness met by moments of bliss & joy. My heart has not been this full in a very long time.


Melissa-D said...

I'm so sorry about your loss! Your blog was written so beautifully - to be able to see the beauty in something that is so hard to deal with. You're in my prayers!

rena said...

I <3 you